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♥ Saturday, January 27, 2007 ♥

bloody hell....my phone being stolen..

my shopping mood totally gone....no appetite to eat already..at 1st wanna went shop a lot lot things from far east...

who knows that when i reach there, i can't find anything that i like, somemore the thing that i saw all not nice de..maybe is because my mood not good...

y am i so unlucky....go temple?? think no use, last time when i lost my HP, i also go temple..now..think no need anymore....all already happen...HP gone....all gone...ya....hope all my things just gone like, so that i no need to worry so much....i got 'no eyes to see' anymore....dont' bother wat had happen already la...dun ask me y become like that.....really really really feel very tired, my mind, heart, and soul.......don't torture me like that, i can't stand it anymore...just leave me alone, leave me alone.....all things happen in 1 go, i dunno wat should i do now, wat should react besides crying and blaming.....wat else can i do.....everyday act like i am very happy, carefree........

when i know i lost my HP, i really cried out in front of my colleagues, i really dunno wat to do, my mind all blank, can't think of anything............for the meantime, i won't use HP anymore...live without HP beside me, dun wan to msg anyone,, dun wan to contact anyone.....unless u are in the same company as mine, u can see me everyday or u are one of my family members or my cousins, u still can see me more often than others..........maybe i should just disappear for a short period...or maybe i should just gone forever......or maybe i shouldn't come to singapore?? or i should just stay at home and help my mom to take care of the family things so that can lesser her burden...........or maybe..........or maybe.........dunno wat i wan already............

♥ Last Written @ 4:31 PM

♥ Thursday, January 25, 2007 ♥

went back to my hometown last weekend...was very worry that cos my hometown there still raining and got flood also..

mummy keep on remind me before went back to jmth must remember give her a call so that she can let me know the latest news...so scare that i can't go back...i already take 1 day leave on 19 Jan....no matter wat, i will go back to jmth..this is wat i want....lucky i no need to buy bus ticket cos..i got driver to fetch me back...

went back together with my sis and cousin...almost all of them going back to jmth...having a long didn't have such happy feeling...cos recently my mood no so good and easily get angry...well...i am also very suprise that i will behave like that cos for the past i never like this before..maybe when a person growing up, the more problem that need to face to and solving it...think this is the process and become part of our daily life...

hope my unhappy things can quickly go away...and i can faster forget those bad and sad memories..i only want to keep those sweet and happy one in my mind...time pass very fast..my grandmum already passed away for 1 year time already..still miss her...but i haven get back the photo that i took with her during chinese new year...haiz...i am so careless when went shopping @ JB, i lost my HP and of course lost all my precious photos....that time i really really really feel very upset and dunno wat to do..but now lucky can get back one of the photo that took with my cousin...almost 1 year already...

funny thing happen when i went last weekend..my cousin said that he wanna introduce guy to me lei....he asked me whether i gt bf in singapore?? i said no, then he asked me back why dun wan to find one, and dun believe that i dun hv....

well, i said really dun hv, then why not u help me find one lor..haha...i am just joking only lei...the next day night we went to segamat to shop for a while and went out with his brother to have supper at the cafe there....then they got bring their friend along...while i chatting with my other cousins, he suddenly said his friend want to know my name and where i work...i am so shock lei...i never think that he will ask all these qns lei....haiz...anyhow answer..

my cousin said why i like that...find 1 guy for u, u dun wan....anyhow answer his qns.....halo, i am just joking only, how i know u will really go n find 1 for me wor.....so funny...haha...also good la, can know a new friend...

that day went out with chien wei..only he and myself..both of us...haha...always can share a lot of my personal thing with him..he is one of my best friend...he knows me well...during our dinner, i almost cried out in front of him because of some of his questions..make me think of my grandmum, cousin and mummy...he said that sometimes i am very scary cos i will suddenly keep quiet and other won't know wat had happen to me just that i didn't notice only....then he said i am very emotional, yup..is true..i admit..especially when i encounter the problem that happen to my family....he also told me that when we went to genting, i also like that..suddenly keep quiet and showing a unhappy face and look sad...seem like got a lot thing troubling me...

i didn't told him the reason why i will behave like that..the main reason is, i think of my cousin...thinking of the sweet time that we went to genting together, went to the same place, took photo at the same place...when think of all these thing, i know my eyes already full with tears...if i keep on thinking, i am sure my tears will drop from my eyes...i dun wan to scare them and make them worry abt me...i always wan to be happy in front of them...let myself suffer with all those problems..i know i can do it....just sometimes need some break and rest to clear my mind...

this coming chinese new year, i will be going back to jmth on 15 feb...feel happy got so many days holiday..can stay there more longer and chat with my mummy...last time when she got to work, we seldom have time to talk to each other..when she back frm she already very tired and need to get some rest...i know she very tired but sometimes she will chat with me for a while...bless that i have a nice mummy that always place her daughters and son in the 1st place....thats y i always worry abt her....

this CNY, will be a very different one, some of them no longer be with us...feel like left out something, not complete./...slowly i will get used to it...

♥ Last Written @ 8:22 PM

♥ Sunday, January 07, 2007 ♥

suddenly have this feeling that i wanna to go back to my hometown and stay there forever...

feel like going home recently...dunno why i have such strong feeling...

maybe is because recently got quite a lot things happen to me..maybe is time for me to be alone and think carefully.....

feel happy that i slowly back to myself again.....heez.....

♥ Last Written @ 11:46 AM

♥ Friday, January 05, 2007 ♥

getting better recently and feel better...

slowly back to myself again...feel happy sia..got to buy something to celebrate for myself.....haha..excuse...

really feel happy that i get back one of my precious photo....brighten up my day and my mood also...but still short of one..if can get back this, i am sure i will be more happy.......

went to hometown last week..to visit my family members...feel worry cos recently rain non-stop and cause my hometown flood....oh no....i still can remember in year 1997, my hometown been flood be4..so scary.....everything can't use anymore...my books....haiz..got to call my friend came to my house and help me to hang up all the books under the sunlight..if not, really dunno how to go to school like that... being laugh by my classmate when they know my house flood...so bad right..nvm la, i dun care... heee..

when on the way home, get to know a new friend which we were going back to same place..haha....chat a lot..haha....think she older than me cos she said she already graduated from NYP for abt 1 year plus...heee....dunno y i can chat so many thing with her, maybe we are from the same hometown..OPPS....dunno when we got chance to meet with each other....hmm..depend on our 'yuen fen' le ba....

home sweet home....feel so great...haha..can get to see my parents, siblings and cousins...all are at home...gathering gathering...well...expect already...father keep on asking me things...haiz...family problem again..dunno how to answer him..just keep quiet..lucky he only quetion me for 1 day only..if not, i dunno how to survive..haha...not so serious.....

get to see my pet..the 3 doggies....they become fatter le lei....aiya..dunno wat they ate sia....can become so fat..haha.....played with them, help to clean themselve,bath...hee..very tired lei, when try to bath them sia...need to get them to the place that they usually bath..need help from mummy la...cos they scare of my mummy lei...also got help them to take some photos...memory...

come...sit near to mummy..
xiao hei and tai ge....
where's tampi?? where he go??
must be sleeping somewhere.....no food for him....

come...give u some foods......sit probably....

"tai ge" where are u looking at?? y look sad...ur leg still pain...let me help u apply some medicine...

come near to me...'xiao hei'..

come..come..come...

i got something for u wor....dun like that lei...

♥ Last Written @ 1:00 PM